U Turn On Food

I wanted to share a recent post from a sweet friend's blog. She happens to be a physician among other things and is one of the most intriguing people I have met in a long time. Her blogging stamina makes me jealous every day, yet I still keep going back. You can check out her other ideas at www.livingwithpower.org.

This is a "how ya doin' on your New Years Resolution" post. I thought it had some great thoughts about food choices. I share with her permission.

Thanks, Lina!

I’m talking to women here, because I’m sure if you’re a guy you started some kind of weird diet that includes burgers and fries and you still somehow lost more than your desired weight goal. Yada yada yada.

Don’t be discouraged, though. It’s not too late to get back on the saddle. We still have a few weeks to go before the pool season. It’s never too late to start now. You can do it. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and all that positive thinking and cliche statements.

But seriously, I figure I should use my expertise as a physician and share some great tips with you towards achieving your goal of losing those last 5-10 pounds. Let’s start by defining those foods that don’t make us fat.

Anytime you pick up a food, use these four criteria to judge whether or not it’s a food that won’t make you far:

1. you better not smell it. Seriously, if it smells good it’s likely fried or bathed in sugar. If you can smell it, drop it and pick up an odorless food. You’ll thank me later. And if you’ve got a cold, don’t use this as your excuse to binge. Simply put all food aside for a couple of days until your sense of smell is restored and you can judge the foods in front of your nose.

2. you better not see it. Portion control, portion control, portion control. Did I say portion control? It’s all about the size of the plate in front of you. If you can see the food, it’s too much. Put half of it away. This is a great tip to hang on to when your sense of smell is dim.

3. you better not wear it. I don’t care if you’re an apple or a pear, food will ultimately settle in around your belly or your hips. Make a decision not to wear the things you eat. The secret here is to take it off. Get on a treadmill. Go for a walk. Whatever you do, move. My assistant thanks me every time I send her on a hike to the mail room because she figures I’m saving her the cost of the gym. Learn from the wise. Exercise. Mind you, don’t over do it. Thirty minutes a day is plenty.

4. you better not crave it. This is a very well kept secret, but I’m going to share it with you. It all starts in the mind. The more you think about food the more you will want to eat. Have you ever noticed that you hardly ever think about food until the minute you decide to diet? Then it’s all you can do not to think about that ice cream sundae or that juicy burger. Take every thought captive. Stop the craving right between your ears!

All right. Hope these tips were helpful. On a more serious note, I’ve found loseit.com to be an incredibly helpful tip in watching what you eat. You can find it on the world wide web, or download it on your iphone.

If you have any other great tips for dieting, share them with the readers in the comments section!

WRESTLING WITH DELEGATION

I’m recently dealing with a very difficult season. The landscape of my current “to do” list is like Mt. Everest in front of me. I have way more to do than time to do it. Can anybody else identify with that? I know some of you, or maybe most of you can.

I’ve been working with a wellness coach for several months and in one of our recent sessions I had a complete meltdown. When she asked me, “okay, tell me what’s really going on with you?”, I had to admit that it had less to do with my plateau in weight loss, or my shifting hormones, or not getting enough exercise. It had to do with another key area of wellness – STRESS.

We all have to deal with stress at some level. And some seasons seem to be worse than others with a million different factors playing into the equation. But the point is, you can implement some strategies that can help you alleviate or manage the stress in your life.

My coach and I hit on one such strategy that is a huge weakness for me. Since misery loves company, and because I know women well, I’m going to assume that you all are in this pit with me. It’s the dirty D word – DELEGATION.

I don’t like it, I don’t do it, I’m unskilled at it. I asked my husband for help. After all, he really knows me best after 35 years of marriage. I said, “tell me why I’m no good at delegating?” He laughed. This was an honest question and a cry for help, so I persisted. I said, “no, really….”, to which he responded gently, “do you think it has anything to do with control?” BINGO!

So, I began to set out with some thinking that I’ve learned in my months of being coached. Janis, my coach, is great at provoking me to put together a plan that will set me up for successful changes. www.inspiredtraining.com I’d like to share it with you in hopes that it will be useful to you.

THE ROAD TO DELEGATION

Identify your inner challenges - these probably come from personality/temperament/life experience.

1) Fear of losing control

2) Commitment to perfection vs. excellence

3) Habitual Martyr syndrome – woe is me, I have so much to do

4) Pride in two forms

a. Wanting all the credit

b. Always thinking your way is best/right

5) Being intoxicated on busy-ness – Some people are afraid to slow down – really. We say we want it but when we do slow down – we don’t even know what we consider “fun” anymore.

Identify your excuses – they are multiple and messy

1) I can do it better myself

2) I may have to redo the work

3) It takes too long to explain it – I might as well do it

4) I will feel guilty asking someone else to do my work

Identify the benefits to you and others – they are many and wonderful (say this out loud J)

1) More overall efficiency for you

2) Reduced stress/anxiety – ask yourself if you’re afraid of “free time” or margin in your life?

3) Satisfaction of giving another person the joy of accomplishment/learning something new/growing in their role

4) Freeing up brain space to be creative, solve problems, identify new processes

Identify your strategies for success – this provides direction (you’ll never get anywhere you’re not headed)

1) Get advice from someone you’ve observed to be a good delegator

2) Determine to ask for help – force yourself

3) Identify a few people around you that have the potential to grow in their work/skills

4) Identify a few people that have time/resources that would be helpful to you

5) Fight with all your might against perfectionism.

6) Rehearse humbling thoughts/prayers that remind you that your way is just that – your way. Someone elses “way” has value too.

Practice makes perfect!!!! Just do it!!! Small choices in the direction of delegating can become a whole new work style and lifestyle for you. Someone around you - maybe many people are going to be happy about that.

The Back Of Your Hair

I have a confession to make. I'm quite concerned about the back of my hair. When I get ready each morning I get in a "zone" when it's time to do my hair. Unfortunately, a good hair day can make or break my day. And trust me - I don't have a lot going for me in the raw materials for making that happen. My hair is thin, limp, fragile, color - treated and getting drier with each passing month. As result, I infuse a lot - yes, a lot - of product into trying to guarantee I have a good day.

As a result of that, I have to shampoo every day. My wonderful hairdresser, Julie, keeps trying to convince me to try "second-day" hair. Really? Try to redo the mess I wake up with into something even resembling a good hair day seems ludicrous to me. I don't like the feel or the look of "second day" hair. Even more convincing is when I look at other people with "second day" hair and know it immediately. Okay, now that you are calling me vain and obsessed, let me share what's really on my mind about the back of your hair.

When I'm in the "zone" of my hairstyling routine it MUST involve a mirror where I can see the back of my hair as I make progress. Just blowing it around or using a brush or my fingers does not guarantee that strands will fall into place. They need guidance and direction. They need purposeful strokes to get them to behave in just the right way for just the right result. On a good day, they will land in the place of my choosing.

"Why is the back so important?", you may be thinking. Well, consider this. In most of every day life, the back of your hair is seen as much or more than

the front. While the front is important too, since it frames your face, the back has just as much visibility. Plus, if it looks good, people may not notice what's not so good below your shoulders. :):)

I have a place in the back of my hair that drives me crazy. It doesn't matter what style I have at the moment - and that's a constant moving target - a

flavor of the week, if you will. It's a place on the "crown of my head which is not, well, a crown at all. It's a small cluster of hairs that refuse to be tamed. They are so completely annoying. Every day they require more than 80% of my hair attention. They are dry and unruly. I apply product, brushes, blow dryer and sometimes a straightener. Even with all that effort when the final "fluffing" is taking place - they do their own thing. They split into a perfect part, or frizz up to a fuzz ball, or lay there flat and disobedient. UGH!!! Leaving them to alone is even worse!

So as I was applying my discipline to them the other morning I thought about the "back of my hair" of my character. There is at least one place in my character that refuses to be tamed. You probably have one too. It's that piece of you that refuses to change it's natural bend in favor of a better one. You need it to behave in order to have a "good life day". So you beat it, ignore it, address it, direct it - only on some days to find that it has, once again, taken you down. It has refused to change.

Why is that one character flaw so important? Because people see it just as much or more than the ones up front, the ones that show. It's true that good character qualities like compassion, kindness, loyalty, honesty, you name it, are evident to the people around us. But it's also true that many times we are defined by the one we are lacking. People notice and remember it. We would hope that the good would outweigh the bad in people's perceptions of us and that they wouldn't define us by our worst quality. It's not always true. The "back of our hair" shows just as much as the front. Even though the front frames the "face" people see, the "back" is still there for the noticing. And unfortunately, the closer the relationship, the more evident it is. The people we love the most and most desire acceptance from are often the most aware of our flaw.

As I wrapped up yet another session with the unruly strands, I decided that it's still worth the fight. I can't give up on them for three reasons.

1. Because left to themselves, they are ugly and embarrassing

2. I want more for myself than to ignore what's ugly about them

3. The people around me deserve my best effort to change them

The same three apply to my "back of the hair" character flaw(s). I'll keep my mirror handy.

Wellness Turning Point

In my initial post (see Turning Point - A Life Renovation) I mentioned that I have been on a journey this summer to figure out what wellness looks like for me in my 50's. Unlike some of my friends who are concerned about hiding their age from people - I'm actually happy to report that I just turned 54 last month. It's okay if I look like I'm 54. The wrinkles I've gained have been earned.

A dear friend asked me once if I would ever have cosmetic surgery for wrinkles. I said, "no, I don't think so.". Then she asked, "is there a reason for that?". Without really thinking I mused, "I think wrinkles are meant to be God's reminder to us that we aren't created to live here forever." I still believe that.

Thanks to my fantastic wellness coach, Janis, I have discovered and rediscoverd several things about myself in the few weeks I've been working with her by Skype.

www.bodybyjanis.com

1. I like food.

2. I dislike diets.

3. I'm not crazy about organized exercise.

4. I prefer to exercise alone.

5. The only exception to that is Zumba.

6. I don't have any hobbies.

7. I'm exploring some hobbies.

8. I don't know what I think is fun these days.

9. I'd like to have more fun.

10. The pool is my happy place.

That's just a few. There are so many more. And Janis, my coach, has not told me any of this. She has, on the other hand, provoked me to think about it.

Coaching is about provoking and not about being perscriptive. Thoughts that are provoked on any given aspect of wellness seem to allow you to look at all your options, assess their value and then decide for yourself which ones you want to embrace.

I've learned alot about parenting adult children in this coaching process. The above principle applies well. It seems more beneficial to choose to provoke some thoughts in someone than to tell them what they should or shouldn't do.

What I love about what Janis has been doing with me is that she has given me my own tools, put them in my hands, and encouraged me to make my own decisions about when and how to use them. That's a huge gift because it changed my thinking about so many things.

It definitely has gotten me off the miserable, self-inflicted guilt trip I was on. So much wasted energy and brain space indulging in defeating thoughts of not being who I wanted to be physically, relationally, spiritually or emotionally. It felt like I was on a hamster wheel I would never get off of. Watch your self-talk - it reveals alot about your outlook.

But now I see that I have the freedom to think through my choices in each of those areas, make turning point decisions, plot a course for change and then be patient with myself along the way.

After all, 54 years is a long time to have thought the same way. Making a U-Turn is going to take time.

I've got the time and so much more mental energy and brain space. Thank you, Janis. And thank you, God, for putting us together for this season.