New Year, New Beginnings

Hey Friends,

After a long absence, I'm going to give another go at posting. With the new year approaching I couldn't help think - what a great time to start over - with lots of things. I don't know about you but the turn of the calendar always gets me thinking. A LOT!! So I'll take the next little while to share some of those thoughts here.

Here's what's currently rolling around in my brain. I came across these 5 statements in the book by Andy Stanley - The Best Question Ever. Here they are. Ponder...Consider...Evaluate....

Maybe this will be the start of some intentional thinking about 2012.

1. There is cumulative value in investing small amounts of time in certain activities over a long period.

2. There are rarely any immediate consequences for neglecting single installments of time in any arena of life.

3. Neglect has a cumulative affect.

4. There is no cumulative value to the urgent things that we allow to interfere with the important things.

5. In the ciritical arenas of life, you cannot make up for lost time.

Relationship Advice

I'm for sure no expert on relationships but I like this quote by Barbara Johnson on the importance of unconditional love.

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." - Barbara Johnson

Some valuable guidelines for relationships

1. Support the person when you can't support their behavior.

2. Settle accounts immediately - time is the great enemy of reconciliation and restoration

3. Adopt forgiveness when reconciliation is not possible

4. The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. Integrate that.

Friends, parents, children, siblings, relatives......need love the most when they deserve it the least.

From Bridesmaids to Babies

I know this is the natural progression of life - first you have weddings and then come the babies. I was thinking the other day about my mom. She had four children in a little over five years. That's just hard. It's hard when their babies, hard when their toddlers, hard when their all in school, hard when their teenagers!, and hard when they all grow up. I think there was one year when she had a graduation, a wedding, and a baby all in a 3 month span. Totally doable but that would rattle anybody's cage.

We had Jill's wedding in early May, 2010 and Lori's was in late 2008. It seemed like we lived and breathed in conversations that involved dresses and receptions and flowers. I loved every minute of it. It's so much fun to watch your daughter dream and plan a day that's all about her and man she loves. With very few exceptions we enjoyed every moment....there have to be a few tense moments - really!

And now we have transitioned, at least for the moment, into babyland. Lori and Ethan are having their first baby in a few weeks and Jill is talking about babies. It's what comes naturally but my feelings have caught me off guard. It's not hard to be excited, and I have been, but I'm such an experiential learner, that for a time my full blown enjoyment was still yet to come. Is that weird?

All that changed when the calendar flipped to May. It's here!!! The month our little grand girl will be here (unless she's dreadfully late). The nursery is ready. Mom and Dad are ready. Me and Papa are so ready!!!! Some days it feels like my heart is going to explode. I honestly don't ever remember feeling like this.

So much to come! And now we're counting days and not months or weeks. Yippee!!!

U Turn On Food

I wanted to share a recent post from a sweet friend's blog. She happens to be a physician among other things and is one of the most intriguing people I have met in a long time. Her blogging stamina makes me jealous every day, yet I still keep going back. You can check out her other ideas at www.livingwithpower.org.

This is a "how ya doin' on your New Years Resolution" post. I thought it had some great thoughts about food choices. I share with her permission.

Thanks, Lina!

I’m talking to women here, because I’m sure if you’re a guy you started some kind of weird diet that includes burgers and fries and you still somehow lost more than your desired weight goal. Yada yada yada.

Don’t be discouraged, though. It’s not too late to get back on the saddle. We still have a few weeks to go before the pool season. It’s never too late to start now. You can do it. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and all that positive thinking and cliche statements.

But seriously, I figure I should use my expertise as a physician and share some great tips with you towards achieving your goal of losing those last 5-10 pounds. Let’s start by defining those foods that don’t make us fat.

Anytime you pick up a food, use these four criteria to judge whether or not it’s a food that won’t make you far:

1. you better not smell it. Seriously, if it smells good it’s likely fried or bathed in sugar. If you can smell it, drop it and pick up an odorless food. You’ll thank me later. And if you’ve got a cold, don’t use this as your excuse to binge. Simply put all food aside for a couple of days until your sense of smell is restored and you can judge the foods in front of your nose.

2. you better not see it. Portion control, portion control, portion control. Did I say portion control? It’s all about the size of the plate in front of you. If you can see the food, it’s too much. Put half of it away. This is a great tip to hang on to when your sense of smell is dim.

3. you better not wear it. I don’t care if you’re an apple or a pear, food will ultimately settle in around your belly or your hips. Make a decision not to wear the things you eat. The secret here is to take it off. Get on a treadmill. Go for a walk. Whatever you do, move. My assistant thanks me every time I send her on a hike to the mail room because she figures I’m saving her the cost of the gym. Learn from the wise. Exercise. Mind you, don’t over do it. Thirty minutes a day is plenty.

4. you better not crave it. This is a very well kept secret, but I’m going to share it with you. It all starts in the mind. The more you think about food the more you will want to eat. Have you ever noticed that you hardly ever think about food until the minute you decide to diet? Then it’s all you can do not to think about that ice cream sundae or that juicy burger. Take every thought captive. Stop the craving right between your ears!

All right. Hope these tips were helpful. On a more serious note, I’ve found loseit.com to be an incredibly helpful tip in watching what you eat. You can find it on the world wide web, or download it on your iphone.

If you have any other great tips for dieting, share them with the readers in the comments section!

WRESTLING WITH DELEGATION

I’m recently dealing with a very difficult season. The landscape of my current “to do” list is like Mt. Everest in front of me. I have way more to do than time to do it. Can anybody else identify with that? I know some of you, or maybe most of you can.

I’ve been working with a wellness coach for several months and in one of our recent sessions I had a complete meltdown. When she asked me, “okay, tell me what’s really going on with you?”, I had to admit that it had less to do with my plateau in weight loss, or my shifting hormones, or not getting enough exercise. It had to do with another key area of wellness – STRESS.

We all have to deal with stress at some level. And some seasons seem to be worse than others with a million different factors playing into the equation. But the point is, you can implement some strategies that can help you alleviate or manage the stress in your life.

My coach and I hit on one such strategy that is a huge weakness for me. Since misery loves company, and because I know women well, I’m going to assume that you all are in this pit with me. It’s the dirty D word – DELEGATION.

I don’t like it, I don’t do it, I’m unskilled at it. I asked my husband for help. After all, he really knows me best after 35 years of marriage. I said, “tell me why I’m no good at delegating?” He laughed. This was an honest question and a cry for help, so I persisted. I said, “no, really….”, to which he responded gently, “do you think it has anything to do with control?” BINGO!

So, I began to set out with some thinking that I’ve learned in my months of being coached. Janis, my coach, is great at provoking me to put together a plan that will set me up for successful changes. www.inspiredtraining.com I’d like to share it with you in hopes that it will be useful to you.

THE ROAD TO DELEGATION

Identify your inner challenges - these probably come from personality/temperament/life experience.

1) Fear of losing control

2) Commitment to perfection vs. excellence

3) Habitual Martyr syndrome – woe is me, I have so much to do

4) Pride in two forms

a. Wanting all the credit

b. Always thinking your way is best/right

5) Being intoxicated on busy-ness – Some people are afraid to slow down – really. We say we want it but when we do slow down – we don’t even know what we consider “fun” anymore.

Identify your excuses – they are multiple and messy

1) I can do it better myself

2) I may have to redo the work

3) It takes too long to explain it – I might as well do it

4) I will feel guilty asking someone else to do my work

Identify the benefits to you and others – they are many and wonderful (say this out loud J)

1) More overall efficiency for you

2) Reduced stress/anxiety – ask yourself if you’re afraid of “free time” or margin in your life?

3) Satisfaction of giving another person the joy of accomplishment/learning something new/growing in their role

4) Freeing up brain space to be creative, solve problems, identify new processes

Identify your strategies for success – this provides direction (you’ll never get anywhere you’re not headed)

1) Get advice from someone you’ve observed to be a good delegator

2) Determine to ask for help – force yourself

3) Identify a few people around you that have the potential to grow in their work/skills

4) Identify a few people that have time/resources that would be helpful to you

5) Fight with all your might against perfectionism.

6) Rehearse humbling thoughts/prayers that remind you that your way is just that – your way. Someone elses “way” has value too.

Practice makes perfect!!!! Just do it!!! Small choices in the direction of delegating can become a whole new work style and lifestyle for you. Someone around you - maybe many people are going to be happy about that.

Missing Mom Today

My mom passed away four years ago today. Much that's happened in recent weeks has brought me back to those dark, yet wonderful days spent with her just before she passed on to her eternal reward.

~Snowy, cold, gray days. Snow laden pine boughs through the window...birds fluttering around as they visit trees in the yard...a snuggly pink blanket spread across the bed for extra warmth...

"It Is Well With My Soul" popping into my head. The special days, her last days had all of these things and more.

~The pending arrival of a new baby girl - she LOVED her grandkids in a very hands on way - even though my girls were long distance. And oh, how she loved babies. She and Lori had a special bond, I think because their birthdays were almost exactly 50 years apart. She would not have been able to contain her excitement about this first granddaughter from my family. The day my daughter called me to tell me the ultrasound revealed "a girl", the very first thought I had was to call my mom. I couldn't but oh, how I wanted to.

~Friends and co-workers dealing with situations where loved ones are terminally ill. I can't tell you how many people I know are currently dealing with this difficulty. It's one of life's hardest tasks - saying goodbye prematurely to those who are fully aware that their time here is on a certain countdown clock.

~Stumbling unexpectedly across faded photographs of days gone by. My mom was a pretty lady and such a pleasant person. She loved people through her smile, her many words and such very kind eyes.

Moms aren't perfect. Mine wasn't, hers wasn't. But in the end I know she loved me and was proud of me. She told me so. Many times. She gave me all she could in every way. Sometimes I regret being so independent and reserved, denying her the opportunity to "mother" me in ways she probably wanted to. I didn't know better then.

All of this is making me miss her very much today. I can still hear her voice, the way she would giggle when she called me by my "pet" name that she knew annoyed me. I miss her silly birthday songs and how she would sing "You Are My Sunshine" - so off key. It makes me smile just to think of her.

I miss you, Mom. Always.

"Knowing" Is An Intimate Word

Knowing is a good word. It suggests an inside track on something, a first hand understanding, a confident capture, an experiential familiarity - you get the idea. Well last week we finally got to KNOW the answer to a very important question.

With Lori and Ethan expecting their first baby in June - we have all been hanging on till the ultrasound a few days ago. The big thing to KNOW?? What this little tator tot is going to be, of course.....BOY or GIRL????

It changes everything to KNOW. It immediately removes 50% of the thinking process on everything from names, to clothing to room decor. It takes your conversation from the "it" and "the baby" realm to very specific, endearing references. It takes your heart from a fuzzy portrait of a "neutral" baby to one that is either pink or blue.

Oh, are you wanting me to get on with the big reveal of what I now "know"???????

SHE'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A wonderful, sweet, baby smelling bundle of hugs and kisses all dressed up in pink and lace and polka dots. I cannot wait!!!!

She is now my granddaughter - how cool is that? SHE will now be connected to me FOREVER. Nothing can or will change that. I am so ready for this experience and have prepared those around me for the totally bonkers me that will soon emerge.

I'm ever so thankful that my granddaughter's family lives less than 20 minutes door to door. I plan to be on everlasting call for anything and everything she needs.

I have to go now. I'm needing to go outfit my soon to be minivan with carrier, car seat, pack n play and whatever else I need to be the "go to" granny. (that's not what I'm going to be called, BTW, but am open to suggestions.)

So much to do for baby girl including praying for her safe arrival. I love you like you're already here, little angel!!

Love, Nanny

The Party's Over

Well, the New Year's Party hasn't even begun but the Christmas party is definitely over. We women are strange creatures, I'm afraid. We love us some celebrations! And if those celebrations involve all the people we love most in the world then we're pretty much guaranteed to throw ourselves head long into trying to make sure everything is perfect. We get a vision of what the perfect celebration will be like and then set about to making it happen no matter what the emotional, mental or financial cost.

This year's Christmas celebration held a lot of meaning for me. We welcomed a new son-in-law, Jackson, into the family this year. And though he spent Christmas with us last year when he and Jill were engaged, the permanence of his place in our family gave it a little different flavor. I can truly say I now have two favorite son-in-laws and enjoy them both so much. I've waited a long time for "boys" and these two have been worth the wait.

This year's family time was underwritten with the caveat that this would be our last Christmas together with just two generations of Langmades. Sometime early summer we will welcome the first of a new generation to our family as Lori and Ethan have their first baby. That baby - who is yet generic to us - has thrown us all into a frenzy of excitement and anticipation. BTW - an ultrasound next week will reveal pink or blue and I am beside myself to the point of not sleeping. Stay tuned for the announcement!!

Prior to Christmas my wish list would have looked something like this:

• All eight of us under one roof - healthy and happy
• Our Colorado girl home safe and sound
• Lots of laughter and interaction
• Meaningful church service on Christmas Eve
• Perfect yummy meals that everyone would oooo and ahhh over
• PEPPERMINT PIE in abundance
• All gifts appropriate and appreciated
• Multiple gatherings with plenty of time to just "hang"
• Reflection and celebration of where we've been, where we are and where we're headed as a family
• A constant realization that our God is truly Emmanuel - God With Us

It's with a smile and tear I can say that all of this happened and more. Added bonuses involved two dogs in addition to the eight of us under one roof; a true White Christmas; the newlyweds staying over night on Christmas eve; our youngest spending the whole weekend - well, I could go on and on. All this to say - it was a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS for me. And I'm so grateful to God for his many blessings.

Twas five days after Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse. This momma is resting and taking some time, next Christmas will be here before I finish this rhyme :):)

Write Your Own Epitaph?

A friend of mine recently mentioned in passing that she had a health issue that made her and her sister joke about how her obituary should read. What’s next is a couple funny ones I found :

Here lies the body

Of Margaret Bent

She kicked up her heels

And away she went.
_________________________________________

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

__________________________________________

After a death in our family recently it made me start thinking about obituaries and epitaphs. I know it’s a bit morbid but just go with me here. I read an obituary this week written about someone I knew well. I read it twice. I wondered who wrote it because nothing that was mentioned resembled the person I knew the deceased to be. It’s so often the case that we perceive ourselves much differently than others do. Sometimes we conjure up a much more complimentary or glamorous view of how we believe others see us. At other times, we are sure that others view us as insignificant or worse, invisible in value. Either is an extreme and the truth truly falls somewhere in the middle of those two.

___________________________________________________

ep·i·taph

   [ep-i-taf, -tahf]

–noun

1.a commemorative inscription on a tomb or mortuary monument about the person buried at that site.

2.a brief poem or other writing in praise of a deceased person.

_________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

So what if we could write our own epitaph?

You gotta think about what would go in the “dash” you see above. Because that dash represents your breathing years.

It represents a lot of activity.

A lot of sleep.

A lot of joy

A lot of struggle

A lot of accomplishment

A lot of failure

A lot of love

A lot of frustration

A lot of time spent doing things you deemed important at least for the moment.

And all of what in the dash basically adds up to the content of your epitaph.

So, my thought for today – for this week – for this lifetime, however long it is….

Is to decide daily what I want the dash to represent. It’s about choices and making them toward something valuable in the long haul.

Oh my! A lot of thinking to do about priorities, adjustments, PEOPLE.

So, we are writing our own epitaph after all. Only the remaining time in the dash in unknown.

Between The Lines

Have you heard the saying, "Just keep it between the lines." It might come in response to asking someone how they are, or they may use it to describe their philosophy of life. Here are some words that could describe how that's lived out -

safe

comfortable

familiar

logical

rules

normal

predictable

Many of us find those words to be positive ones. In fact, it's one of the first things they taught us in school - color inside the lines. These words normally fit in my box of Good.

I'm wondering how different our personal worlds would be...how different the whole world would be if we chose to NOT live between the lines. What if we started living outside the lines. I'm not suggesting abandoning all of the above words completely, going crazy and living some sort of lawless existence. But, what if we just pushed out the boundaries a bit and stepped over onto the other side of the lines.

What if we got -

adventurous

impetuous

unsettled

edgy

audacious

exploratory

erratic

impulsive

irregular

And these are just the ones that start with a vowel :)

Here are some words that describe the realms in which we might practice this:

seeing...

thinking...

reading...

behaving...

visualizing...(not in a weird way)

Here's what I'm thinking....

What if we looked at something - a person, an animal, nature, a piece of art and really tried to see it, in detail, in context - noticing it's uniqueness and contemplating it's purpose.

What if we put something in a place it didn't belong, discovering a new use or beauty in placing it there.

What if we set aside some time to think about something that's not on our everyday radar. To think creatively about a challenge we have that needs a solution.

What if we picked up a paper or book that we would never want to read if we were still "between the lines". Maybe it would stir an idea or thought to share or savor.

What if we did something that would cause people to say, "that's so unlike you". All of a sudden you partake of a new experience and feel something about it - "I like it!" or "I wouldn't do that again".

What if we closed our eyes and visualized ourselves or our surroundings in a completely different color. Perhaps the shirt we would normally purchase in black, we decide to purchase in red. Or we buy new throw pillows in some indulgent color that transforms the room and our mood.

What if we outrageously gave some stuff away. Like the kind of stuff that people would say, "What!!?? Why are you doing that?" And you said, "because I'm outside the lines today".

How 'bout it? Dare to live outside the lines for just one day? One week?

I'd love to hear from you on this one...anybody wanna give it a try??

My Former Life

Well, today (last Sunday) something happened that changed me forever. When I say that I'm not sure what you might be thinking. Was there some catastrophe? Some epiphany? Some destiny? that came my way?

No, it was none of those things. It was a small framed picture with a smudgy image in the center of the photo. Yes, it's the moment I've been waiting for that changes absolutely everything.

A BABY!!! I'm no longer just Betsy, Elizabeth, wife, mother, sister, friend.....I am now Granny, Nanny, Mimi or whatever this little peanut decides to name me. Baby Greer is only the size of an olive (I LOVE olives) but has managed to turn my day, my week, my year, my life upsidedown. I'm changed. It's that simple.

WARNING!!!!! I will be bonkers crazy in love with this child and don't plan to contain, manage, or care what anyone thinks about how I act.

Come quickly June 2nd. Really quickly.

U TURN PERMITTED

I love u-turns. It's the whole idea of options and a complete change of perspective. It's alot about correcting your course when you've headed in a direction you didn't intend. It happened to me today in Chicago. I was flustered and hurried with my mind abuzz with a million details. I missed my turn. The little blue dot on my gps confirmed it. I immediately began to look for a turn around place. Most people look for a left turn onto a side street but I always look first for a place I can just whip around and be headed back in the right direction. People who ride with me tell that's dangerous. So is going farther in the wrong direction. My motto in driving is the same as my motto for life. If you are headed in the wrong direction, as soon as you know it, whip around and get back on the right path. It's not rocket science. It just makes good sense.

Do you find yourself in a place today that you never intended to be? Most people find that they don't even know exactly how it happened. They just kept making choices and then one day they look around and are disappointed with what they see. Sometimes they're really desperate.

My suggestion is a course correction. Use the internal GPS of your spirit and allow it to speak to you. "You are approaching a U-turn. Take the U-turn". If you are a Christ-follower, your GPS is the Holy Spirit. If you are not, the Bible is a "true north" guide to deep peace and satisfaction.

It's always good to do a little internal evaluation. Take stock of the landscape of your life. You can change. Really. People do it every day. Set your heart on courage, draw from the strength God has given you and then move in the direction you want to go. You can do it.

The Back Of Your Hair

I have a confession to make. I'm quite concerned about the back of my hair. When I get ready each morning I get in a "zone" when it's time to do my hair. Unfortunately, a good hair day can make or break my day. And trust me - I don't have a lot going for me in the raw materials for making that happen. My hair is thin, limp, fragile, color - treated and getting drier with each passing month. As result, I infuse a lot - yes, a lot - of product into trying to guarantee I have a good day.

As a result of that, I have to shampoo every day. My wonderful hairdresser, Julie, keeps trying to convince me to try "second-day" hair. Really? Try to redo the mess I wake up with into something even resembling a good hair day seems ludicrous to me. I don't like the feel or the look of "second day" hair. Even more convincing is when I look at other people with "second day" hair and know it immediately. Okay, now that you are calling me vain and obsessed, let me share what's really on my mind about the back of your hair.

When I'm in the "zone" of my hairstyling routine it MUST involve a mirror where I can see the back of my hair as I make progress. Just blowing it around or using a brush or my fingers does not guarantee that strands will fall into place. They need guidance and direction. They need purposeful strokes to get them to behave in just the right way for just the right result. On a good day, they will land in the place of my choosing.

"Why is the back so important?", you may be thinking. Well, consider this. In most of every day life, the back of your hair is seen as much or more than

the front. While the front is important too, since it frames your face, the back has just as much visibility. Plus, if it looks good, people may not notice what's not so good below your shoulders. :):)

I have a place in the back of my hair that drives me crazy. It doesn't matter what style I have at the moment - and that's a constant moving target - a

flavor of the week, if you will. It's a place on the "crown of my head which is not, well, a crown at all. It's a small cluster of hairs that refuse to be tamed. They are so completely annoying. Every day they require more than 80% of my hair attention. They are dry and unruly. I apply product, brushes, blow dryer and sometimes a straightener. Even with all that effort when the final "fluffing" is taking place - they do their own thing. They split into a perfect part, or frizz up to a fuzz ball, or lay there flat and disobedient. UGH!!! Leaving them to alone is even worse!

So as I was applying my discipline to them the other morning I thought about the "back of my hair" of my character. There is at least one place in my character that refuses to be tamed. You probably have one too. It's that piece of you that refuses to change it's natural bend in favor of a better one. You need it to behave in order to have a "good life day". So you beat it, ignore it, address it, direct it - only on some days to find that it has, once again, taken you down. It has refused to change.

Why is that one character flaw so important? Because people see it just as much or more than the ones up front, the ones that show. It's true that good character qualities like compassion, kindness, loyalty, honesty, you name it, are evident to the people around us. But it's also true that many times we are defined by the one we are lacking. People notice and remember it. We would hope that the good would outweigh the bad in people's perceptions of us and that they wouldn't define us by our worst quality. It's not always true. The "back of our hair" shows just as much as the front. Even though the front frames the "face" people see, the "back" is still there for the noticing. And unfortunately, the closer the relationship, the more evident it is. The people we love the most and most desire acceptance from are often the most aware of our flaw.

As I wrapped up yet another session with the unruly strands, I decided that it's still worth the fight. I can't give up on them for three reasons.

1. Because left to themselves, they are ugly and embarrassing

2. I want more for myself than to ignore what's ugly about them

3. The people around me deserve my best effort to change them

The same three apply to my "back of the hair" character flaw(s). I'll keep my mirror handy.

Change is a'comin'

Change - what a word. How does it strike you? What visceral response do you have to just seeing the word. Some women I've met break out in hives at just the thought of it. Others squirm in their chairs. Still others are grabbing for their seat belts in readiness for the adventure.

"One thing that will never change is that things will always change." There's a bite size brain snack for you. (ck out others on my blog) Everything in this life is subject to change on a moments notice.

My daughter, Lori, not only likes change but invites it. She not only invites it, she's an agent of it. She's a bright young woman with a quick mind that will always find a way to be occupied. When she sees something, it comes naturally for her to view it not as it is but how it should or could be. Now this attribute can have a few downsides but we're not talking about those.

The great outcome of this attitude is that her world is alway in motion. Things are ever changing and becoming something different and better than what they used to be.

If a room is in neutral, Lori sees it in color. If a relationship is stagnant, she infuses energy into it. If an activity is boring, she conjures up fun. I just love that about her. People like Lori are the folks in your life that you gravitate to when your looking for ideas, for out of the box thinking and just plain good times.

Whether you welcome change or detest it - it's coming. Here are some things you may be able to do to "deal".

1) BE OPEN - take the lid off the box you live in

2) SEE NEW OPPORTUNITIES - stick your head out of the box and take a peek

3) MAKE A DECISION TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT - put one leg up over the side of the box

4) GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND EXPERIENCE SOMETHING NEW - jump out of the box

5) ONCE YOU'VE DONE, DECIDE WHETHER YOU LIKED IT OR NOT - pick up the lid to your box

6) IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, TRY SOMETHING ELSE - put the old lid on the old box with super glue

See, that wasn't hard. Your now LIVING outside your boring box. Enjoy!!!!

Wellness Turning Point

In my initial post (see Turning Point - A Life Renovation) I mentioned that I have been on a journey this summer to figure out what wellness looks like for me in my 50's. Unlike some of my friends who are concerned about hiding their age from people - I'm actually happy to report that I just turned 54 last month. It's okay if I look like I'm 54. The wrinkles I've gained have been earned.

A dear friend asked me once if I would ever have cosmetic surgery for wrinkles. I said, "no, I don't think so.". Then she asked, "is there a reason for that?". Without really thinking I mused, "I think wrinkles are meant to be God's reminder to us that we aren't created to live here forever." I still believe that.

Thanks to my fantastic wellness coach, Janis, I have discovered and rediscoverd several things about myself in the few weeks I've been working with her by Skype.

www.bodybyjanis.com

1. I like food.

2. I dislike diets.

3. I'm not crazy about organized exercise.

4. I prefer to exercise alone.

5. The only exception to that is Zumba.

6. I don't have any hobbies.

7. I'm exploring some hobbies.

8. I don't know what I think is fun these days.

9. I'd like to have more fun.

10. The pool is my happy place.

That's just a few. There are so many more. And Janis, my coach, has not told me any of this. She has, on the other hand, provoked me to think about it.

Coaching is about provoking and not about being perscriptive. Thoughts that are provoked on any given aspect of wellness seem to allow you to look at all your options, assess their value and then decide for yourself which ones you want to embrace.

I've learned alot about parenting adult children in this coaching process. The above principle applies well. It seems more beneficial to choose to provoke some thoughts in someone than to tell them what they should or shouldn't do.

What I love about what Janis has been doing with me is that she has given me my own tools, put them in my hands, and encouraged me to make my own decisions about when and how to use them. That's a huge gift because it changed my thinking about so many things.

It definitely has gotten me off the miserable, self-inflicted guilt trip I was on. So much wasted energy and brain space indulging in defeating thoughts of not being who I wanted to be physically, relationally, spiritually or emotionally. It felt like I was on a hamster wheel I would never get off of. Watch your self-talk - it reveals alot about your outlook.

But now I see that I have the freedom to think through my choices in each of those areas, make turning point decisions, plot a course for change and then be patient with myself along the way.

After all, 54 years is a long time to have thought the same way. Making a U-Turn is going to take time.

I've got the time and so much more mental energy and brain space. Thank you, Janis. And thank you, God, for putting us together for this season.

Color My World

...no not the old Chicago song, silly. I just heard the song the other night as we were enjoying the company of good friends. It took me back to high school in a flash. But that's not what I want to talk about today.

Color is important to me. It speaks to me. In my home, in my fashion, in my mind....it's all about vivacious, expressive color. Color creates an environment and invites an experience. Color says to the mind - relax or get moving or change or love, or just so many other things.

I can recall vividly several times where fashion color got me into trouble. I would show up to a function in an area of the country where people choose to wear clothes the same color as the dirt and dust where they live. I don't get that. Don't you people see the need to add a little COLOR???!!! . Like red, or purple or blue? God made those colors too and I don't think I see any black, brown or grey in His rainbow of promise.

Taken from the airplane as we landed in Denver. I've never seen a rainbow that came straight out of a cloud and touched the ground.

On these occasions I would be dressed like a usually am with some degree of vibrant color. I would like the way I looked until the pressure of their dullness would make me feel like crawling under a rock. Or turning into a chameleon so I could morph to one of their "earthy" colors and disappear into the landscape. It's just so confusing to me.

I'm not sure why I'm so drawn to color. It just trips my trigger. All I know is that I'm easily bored with neutrals. I just want to ask why? Why would you choose so much absence when there is so much presence at your fingertips?

I'm striving to make that true from the inside out. Why would I choose so much neutral - in my beliefs, values, relationships, work - when there is so much "color" at my fingertips. It makes me want to pursue a purple, blue, green, yellow and red. I want to chase after passion, peace, growth, happiness and courage.

If you're a person that likes neutrals - please! just tell me why??

HAVE A LITTLE VISION, PEOPLE

Undertaking any kind of change - from redecorating, to rebuilding, to moving, to marrying, to starting a new job - can be scary business. One thing I have found that helps is to have a vision of what you want that "whatever" to look like, feel like, accomplish?.

Doing some mental work on the front end allows the necessary steps to get there come into focus. Once you have the end result in your mind's eye you can work backwards to decide how you are going to get there. Let me encourage you that many times there is no right or wrong way to "get there". You and I might want to end up in the same place but take diverse roads to get there.

Let me give you an example. My sister and I both love to plan events. We can easily get a vision for what we want the event to look and feel like, the experience if you will. It's at that point that we take diverse turns. My sister functions best by being fluid and spontaneous in her process. I find more satisfaction in laying out a well thought out plan and executing it step by step. Which one of us is right?

The point is that she has pulled off some spectacular events where everything came together and people felt like things when off exactly as planned. (It's only their perception that's important, by the way) I, too, have pulled off some pretty big deal events where people felt that everything had gone exactly as planned. We both reached the end we had hoped for coming from our own different paths.

Our vision is the most important thing. Capitalizing on our personality traits, gifts and talents helps us figure out how to get there. I love the individuality of vision and arriving at the vision.

What is your vision? How do you plan to get there? Follow your heart and mind right into that change and make it happen.

Key Thought - when it comes to God and our spiritual journey, however, there are not many ways to the same end. See post "One Path". Those who say that there are many paths to God are sadly mistaken. There is only the One True God of the Bible. And He says that Jesus is the only way to relationship with God. Answering the question - who is Jesus? - is the most important question you will ever consider and answer. I love that the word "quest" is in the word "question". Most questions that are in the deep places of our heart are really about a quest to relate to the God. Read more in the "One Path" post.