As a result of that, I have to shampoo every day. My wonderful hairdresser, Julie, keeps trying to convince me to try "second-day" hair. Really? Try to redo the mess I wake up with into something even resembling a good hair day seems ludicrous to me. I don't like the feel or the look of "second day" hair. Even more convincing is when I look at other people with "second day" hair and know it immediately. Okay, now that you are calling me vain and obsessed, let me share what's really on my mind about the back of your hair.
When I'm in the "zone" of my hairstyling routine it MUST involve a mirror where I can see the back of my hair as I make progress. Just blowing it around or using a brush or my fingers does not guarantee that strands will fall into place. They need guidance and direction. They need purposeful strokes to get them to behave in just the right way for just the right result. On a good day, they will land in the place of my choosing.
"Why is the back so important?", you may be thinking. Well, consider this. In most of every day life, the back of your hair is seen as much or more than
the front. While the front is important too, since it frames your face, the back has just as much visibility. Plus, if it looks good, people may not notice what's not so good below your shoulders. :):)
I have a place in the back of my hair that drives me crazy. It doesn't matter what style I have at the moment - and that's a constant moving target - a
flavor of the week, if you will. It's a place on the "crown of my head which is not, well, a crown at all. It's a small cluster of hairs that refuse to be tamed. They are so completely annoying. Every day they require more than 80% of my hair attention. They are dry and unruly. I apply product, brushes, blow dryer and sometimes a straightener. Even with all that effort when the final "fluffing" is taking place - they do their own thing. They split into a perfect part, or frizz up to a fuzz ball, or lay there flat and disobedient. UGH!!! Leaving them to alone is even worse!
So as I was applying my discipline to them the other morning I thought about the "back of my hair" of my character. There is at least one place in my character that refuses to be tamed. You probably have one too. It's that piece of you that refuses to change it's natural bend in favor of a better one. You need it to behave in order to have a "good life day". So you beat it, ignore it, address it, direct it - only on some days to find that it has, once again, taken you down. It has refused to change.
Why is that one character flaw so important? Because people see it just as much or more than the ones up front, the ones that show. It's true that good character qualities like compassion, kindness, loyalty, honesty, you name it, are evident to the people around us. But it's also true that many times we are defined by the one we are lacking. People notice and remember it. We would hope that the good would outweigh the bad in people's perceptions of us and that they wouldn't define us by our worst quality. It's not always true. The "back of our hair" shows just as much as the front. Even though the front frames the "face" people see, the "back" is still there for the noticing. And unfortunately, the closer the relationship, the more evident it is. The people we love the most and most desire acceptance from are often the most aware of our flaw.
As I wrapped up yet another session with the unruly strands, I decided that it's still worth the fight. I can't give up on them for three reasons.
1. Because left to themselves, they are ugly and embarrassing
2. I want more for myself than to ignore what's ugly about them
3. The people around me deserve my best effort to change them
The same three apply to my "back of the hair" character flaw(s). I'll keep my mirror handy.