A dear friend asked me once if I would ever have cosmetic surgery for wrinkles. I said, "no, I don't think so.". Then she asked, "is there a reason for that?". Without really thinking I mused, "I think wrinkles are meant to be God's reminder to us that we aren't created to live here forever." I still believe that.
Thanks to my fantastic wellness coach, Janis, I have discovered and rediscoverd several things about myself in the few weeks I've been working with her by Skype.
1. I like food.
2. I dislike diets.
3. I'm not crazy about organized exercise.
4. I prefer to exercise alone.
5. The only exception to that is Zumba.
6. I don't have any hobbies.
7. I'm exploring some hobbies.
8. I don't know what I think is fun these days.
9. I'd like to have more fun.
10. The pool is my happy place.
That's just a few. There are so many more. And Janis, my coach, has not told me any of this. She has, on the other hand, provoked me to think about it.
Coaching is about provoking and not about being perscriptive. Thoughts that are provoked on any given aspect of wellness seem to allow you to look at all your options, assess their value and then decide for yourself which ones you want to embrace.
I've learned alot about parenting adult children in this coaching process. The above principle applies well. It seems more beneficial to choose to provoke some thoughts in someone than to tell them what they should or shouldn't do.
What I love about what Janis has been doing with me is that she has given me my own tools, put them in my hands, and encouraged me to make my own decisions about when and how to use them. That's a huge gift because it changed my thinking about so many things.
It definitely has gotten me off the miserable, self-inflicted guilt trip I was on. So much wasted energy and brain space indulging in defeating thoughts of not being who I wanted to be physically, relationally, spiritually or emotionally. It felt like I was on a hamster wheel I would never get off of. Watch your self-talk - it reveals alot about your outlook.
But now I see that I have the freedom to think through my choices in each of those areas, make turning point decisions, plot a course for change and then be patient with myself along the way.
After all, 54 years is a long time to have thought the same way. Making a U-Turn is going to take time.
I've got the time and so much more mental energy and brain space. Thank you, Janis. And thank you, God, for putting us together for this season.